Our Chosen Future

The sun has been shining, more places have been opening, and a lot of us have had the opportunity to reunite with friends and family we haven’t seen for what feels like years. 2020 has been a DECADE, am I right? The continuity of the unknowns is endless- what work will look like, our relationship status, what our living situation will be, every single aspect of BLM and anti-racism, anxiety around our personal religious structures, the future of our youth and all of the extremely tough decisions going into their schooling- these are only some of the thoughts that keep cycling through our heads.

It’s been beautiful to see photos and hear stories of:

-the gardens that we’re building

-the relationships we’re building and nurturing- from the relationships with ourselves to our loved ones- to our neighbors we’ve never “had time for” or were just too nervous to reach out to, and with the one who (in my opinion) matters the most- Mother Nature.

-the new hobbies we’ve developed

-the growing appreciation for technology and its ability to bring us closer together

-standing up for what we believe in through whatever means is most effective for each of us

Sadly enough, though, with the beauty comes the beast and today’s beast has not been limited to:

-Insecurity, loneliness, sadness, anger, etcetttterrrraaaa

-The judgment of others and ourselves

-Blatant racism and bigotry

-Hurtful words and actions towards ourselves and each other

-Deaths- nah, not just directly from COVID as an illness. I’m talking about the deaths of plans we were so darn excited for, deaths of relationships of/with loved ones, deaths of dreams we held close to our hearts, deaths of versions of ourselves, the death of everything we knew to be true.

Those listed are just the TIP of what many of us have or will be experiencing, and it’s a freaking gift to have the privilege to CHOOSE how we want to navigate from this point forward. Sure, there are many things we don’t have control over but guess what?

*Lifts air horn to mouth*

We. Never. Had. Control. Just go and ask those that had the most organized, controlled life and vision of their future- ask them how they’ve been doing and I’m sure any belief you had about being able to control external factors in your life will immediately vanish.

We HAVE CONTROL over:

    -Our beliefs. What do YOU believe to be true? I challenge you to sit with that question. Not what we grew up to be true based on teachings by our family, religion and society but what WE BELIEVE from the depths of our soul to be true. 

    -Our attitudes. Okay, going on a little tangent here- some days our attitude may just majorly suck. We wake up and don’t feel like doing life and then maybe we don’t if we’re privileged enough *raises hand* to just not that day. Despite feeling the need for that very type of day this past week, I’m greatly aware that it was within my control to shift my mindset and work through the blahness I felt all day. This is what I teach my clients AND I teach my clients to ALSO sit with these feelings. What can we learn from this? Embrace these days with curiosity, learn from them, dust yourself off and move the f*ck on, k? Use your self-talk to change shape your thoughts. Shift your language and be your greatest motivator. Be your own motha-effing Mickey of your life. No one is here to hold your hand through one of the most ambiguous chapters of your life because they’re too busy trying to keep their head above water so it’s time to be proactive, engage in positive, daily routines that establish momentum. And yeah, this means to nourish your body with movement and greens, my friend. 

-How we show up for others. K, so it’s time to literally shred up those judgy pants and say “SHALOM, pants- you never have and never will fit me.” I’m not going to encourage you to donate them because we don’t need to be passing those stained, overused, ugly pants onto anyone else.

If this pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that I have so much to learn from others and I wouldn’t have been able to learn a thing if I hadn’t willingly cracked my heart open and dismissed any preconceived notions I’ve had about others and everything I “knew to be true”. For the sake of us collectively moving forward and building a healthier society, we need to stop being selfish, reactive, antagonistic cowards.

 Let’s take one step back- “how did I feel before this anger? Why do I feel triggered? What is this experience trying to teach me?” Anger is a secondary emotion that many of us use as our shield of armor but if we all dismantle that “protection” and understand that it does not serve us, we will expand with love and bravery- exactly what our veins thirst for. I’ve heard “That hurt me, that hurts my feelings, I feel very hurt” more times than I can count. But why the pain? There is a very small moment of time that we can choose to not allow the hurt- we have this incredible ability as human beings to interpret the actions of others however we choose. Don’t let the actions of others “hurt” you and instead question what you’re meant to learn from this experience. It’s not easy but it’s possible and feels much better than walking around like a wounded Eeyore. It ain’t cute.

Y’all. We have right now- today- to decide that we can change as individuals. With the approaching seasons only looking gloomier than the last, let’s take this breath of time to strengthen our souls, minds, and bodies.

Let’s transform the way we love ourselves and others.

Let’s expand together.

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